The spiritual state of Bethesda Friends Meeting arises out of the spiritual state of the individuals who are part of it. Many find a welcoming spiritual home here. Through the meeting we find guidance from the shared experience of the divine light. Our spiritual state exists not only in our individual actions, but in our practices and interactions with each other. This report is based on written and verbal responses from individuals and committees to several queries from the Ministry & Worship Committee.
Our Worship Together. Many in our community are satisfied or pleased with their experi-ence of meeting for worship. Individuals come for “the quiet and the messages, and to hear the whisper of God in my busy life.” Or to feel “connected to others seeking a common truth, and caring.”
We had an unusual number of memorial meetings in the past year. In a five-month period of last winter and spring, there were seven memorial services. In one case, the family was moved and comforted by writing the memorial minute to be read at the meeting. In others, the minute was written by members of our meeting. These memorials gave us rich glimpses into the spiritual nature and meaningful lives of those remembered. The Hospitality Committee gave exceptional support in providing food for each Memorial service that was held.
Yet, not everyone is fulfilled in our meeting. One long-time attender, who did not feel called to membership, had a strong opinion that our ways of doing things were not sufficiently grounded in Quaker history and tradition. We were disappointed that our efforts to respond to these concerns were not satisfactory. Another member overheard a remark that could be inhibiting, but is probably not uncommon. “When there are a lot of messages, I just try to tune them out.” Messages expressing emotional needs could be disturbing to others' tranquility, but also raised our awareness and challenged us to be considerate and respectful.
One new attender said she found it hard to focus in meeting for worship on what she was “supposed to” (think about). Others agreed that it was hard to center; “your mind wanders,” and is “running through lists of things (one) should have done.” But we are “influenced by those who sit quietly,” knowing we have a “place for self-examination, and working on the same human failings.” We have “a context to examine the same things over and over.” There is “a deeper thread” than what runs through our everyday job.
In response to our queries, another person comes back to meeting for worship precisely because it is a place of caring where he can evaluate his spiritual condition, and “I haven't straightened that out yet.” A student said that it is hard to center at home alone; the meeting is better for centering because it is more “present.” Another said that “some profound spiritual experiences did not happen in meeting,” but that on the way to meeting “I reach a sweet spot and enter into Light, warmth, and gentleness.” One man feels a lot of pressure from our culture to embrace buying or be competitive or avoid dialogue, and feels that he tends to get lost, but in this place he can renew his frame of reference, and constantly find himself again.
Caring for Each Other. Our life together creates opportunities as well as a sense of obligation to join in shared activities: monthly potlucks, Friendly Eights, the sewing group, the older women's groups, preparations for the Christmas Pageant, and the Spring Fling for Ramallah Schools.
Informal relationships are also important. For many we are “a really wonderful mix of people” and “a strong and supportive faith community.” The meeting can be “a caring and supportive community that is always there to help an individual or group that comes to the forefront as needing assistance.” One responder described feeling “surrounded with love and concern” in a time of need, such as illness or a death in the family.
Our meeting united in its support of a member who was excluded from Baltimore Yearly Meeting activities involving youth, without having what we considered to be a proper Quaker process.
The Ministry & Worship Committee approved and made available to the meeting a pamphlet, Advice Concerning Marriage Under the Care of Bethesda Friends Meeting.
Acting in the World. From our spiritual foundation, the meeting reaches out to the world around us in various ways, both locally and beyond. BFM helped house and support a family who were homeless due to the New Orleans flood, and eventually helped them move into a Friendly Gardens apartment. Many join in preparing and distributing Christmas food bags to all the households at Friendly Gardens Apartments. Students raise money to purchase books for the Martin Luther King Elementary School library and take part in a mini-walkathon for the homeless. The meeting began to offer the Lee Stern Peace Award at three local public high schools.
This past year's world events have had an impact on our meeting. Hurricane Katrina's destruction of New Orleans was felt as a blow, and the federal government's poor response gave added distress. After another hurricane in Texas, it seemed difficult to garner enough aid for more distant disasters, such as an earthquake in Pakistan and flooding in Guatemala. In Iraq, the kidnapping of the Christian Peacemakers Team, the threatened killing of Tom Fox, and holding the others for four months, called forth many prayers, an on-line petition, interfaith gatherings, and vigils at Langley Hill Meeting. A growing concern about the genocide in Darfur has stimulated a call for action among us. Recently we held a faith sharing about the use of torture by our military.
BFM gave financial support to 19 Quaker and community organizations, and made special contributions to assist victims of the Asian tsunami and Hurricane Katrina. Through the Peace & Social Justice Committee, we provide encouragement and support to many individuals working on specific leadings and concerns. The vigil marking the anniversary of the beginning of the Iraq War was particularly moving for those who participated.
First Day School. We continue to be strengthened and energized by the presence of our children and young people. The First Day School enrolled over 50 students during the past year, from preschool through high school. Each age group had two or more devoted teachers to guide them during the year. This year, an ad hoc committee developed guidelines and procedures to assure child safety when in the care of the meeting. Consideration of this concern encouraged us to reevaluate how to lovingly support and protect both the children and those who serve as teachers and caregivers.
Adult Religious Education. The many excellent offerings of the adult religious education committee have been very helpful in self-evaluation. The regular series on individual spiritual journeys has been important to many. “Hearing of others' spiritual progress or condi-tions makes me look at my own and ask myself questions, sometimes hard questions.” Forums on Quaker practice and history were described as “wonderful sessions for those who hope to take the process (of spiritual progress) one step further.”
Challenges to Community and Fellowship.
The clerk of BYM Committee on Ministry & Pastoral Care has asked us: Are we careful not to close the doors to newcomers and to each other? Are our minds and hearts open to all in love and understanding so we build trust and honesty with each other? We are aware that we have not always been able to meet those expectations.
Some long-standing members and attenders have greatly reduced their attendance because of angry words or hurtful criticism by others. Some have felt a lack of cooperation or support. One person wrote: “There are people whose testimony I valued, who have left the meeting, or at least are staying away, due to differences either individual or philosophic with other members. What has driven these people away? We were told that those attending meeting for worship may at times be insensitive to the needs of others. Some of us may need to “show more patience and understanding (with those who) delay seeking membership.” It is noted that Ministry & Worship and Pastoral Care made significant efforts to address some situations where people felt hurt.
One member has resigned because “I've been disappointed by the lack of Christ, or perhaps better put, of his centrality in a Christian church, I'm not sure that's what George Fox had in mind back then.” Another has been troubled by hearing dismissive or derogatory remarks about Christians and Christianity.
Some find it difficult to attend regularly because of complicated, busy lives. A member objected to our policy of having latecomers wait in the library until the children leave, expressing a feeling of being excluded. Was this literal closing of the doors consistent with our intention to be welcoming to all? Another thought this policy may appear to be “forcing people away, not being open and welcoming, and (saying to them) you don't measure up.” Some express appreciation for the policy, as it allows time to center more fully. Ministry & Worship has tried to answer some of these concerns by arranging a circle of chairs in the library, to allow worship to begin there. In addition, an audio system was installed so that messages from the meeting room can be heard.
We were asked to note the absence of a voice in meeting for worship about the outrageous actions of our countrymen and women (particularly about torture). ...What has happened to our outrage? We seem to have no vehicle, method, openness for addressing within the meeting the concern many feel. Several questioned whether the meeting does enough to help us evaluate our own spiritual progress or condition. Another pointed out our perennially unresolved question about seemingly political messages: How well have we struck the balance of acknowledging the outside world that impinges upon us, while maintaining a spiritual basis for the sharing that occurs in meeting for worship?
Hopes for the future. Can we continue to discern actions that will shine light into dark places, and bring more peace and comfort to a world that seems in dire need of it? Will we better recognize and resolve conflicts that may arise within our meeting? Will we resist the temptation to stand in judgment of others? Will we strive to be sensitive to the needs and concerns of others, whether newcomers, regular attenders, or members? Will we work to understand and accept the many different faith traditions and ways of seeking the Truth among those who worship with us?
We continue to seek together for divine guidance.
